Fear/Break Loose/

(This is a picture of me on my 28th Birthday last year! Almost hitting 30! Lol)

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”

1 Peter‬ ‭2:9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Today, I wanted to share my testimony with you.

When I was younger, I was a very happy child. I loved to talk, play, laugh, and giggle. I loved God as a child and wanted to take Him seriously. In the fifth grade, I started a Christian club with a couple of friends and encouraged them to follow God. At age 11, I was filled with the Holy Spirit. All I wanted to do was to serve God but that changed when I entered junior high. Before I continue, let me say this. The devil doesn’t care about you or me. He doesn’t care about your age, your parents, whether you in church or not, but he wants your soul. I urge every parent to cover your children in prayer. Do not take it likely because The devil is always looking for someone to destroy.

In junior high, one of my biggest fears was bullying. I did not want anyone to talk about me so I decided to be a quiet person. I acted like I was shy and did not know that lie was becoming a part of me. After that, I started to experience demonic attacks. The devil was torturing me with evil thoughts about God. I have been raised in church but at that time, I didn’t know what spiritual warfare was. The devil started to fill my head with so many lies about myself that I thought that was who I was. I didn’t know who to talk to and was embarrassed to even mention it. It continued to happen and my personality changed drastically.

I did not want to live for God and went into a depressed and rejected mode. Since I convinced myself that I was a shy girl, I barely talk to anyone about the struggles inside of me. Yes, I still experienced bullying from a few classmates but never told my parents. I remember in junior high I thought about bringing a knife to school to get back at a boy that was bothering me. The devil had my mind so screwed up that eventually I was talking to myself and hitting myself to stop the voices. Yes, the devil is after my life…..and yours too.

Of course, I can’t blame the devil because I allowed him to do it. I was constantly rebelling against God’s voice and continue to waddle in sin. I wanted to fill that void with a boyfriend and picked the wrong guys. After my first “So-called” relationship didn’t work out, I start dating another guy my junior year in college. I considered this to be my first real relationship and was starting to think I had a future with him. He was the first person I gave my virginity to and ended up having sex with him every week. In my mind, he was better than Jesus Christ..(yes I regret saying that.) God was warning me to cut this off but I refused to. I enjoyed having sex and a boyfriend. He was not saved or really attending church so I abandoned what I was taught and followed him. I didn’t care what my parents, church members, or God said because it was my life. I was so insecure, I did what my boyfriend wanted me to do.

A year after graduation, things started to get real with me. I became pregnant with our first child but miscarried a few weeks later. I thought having a baby with him is what I wanted but God was about to bring me back to reality. About two months later, I became pregnant with my son, Deundre. I never planned to be a single mother but that is the consequence I got. I was living by myself and was not prepared financially or mentally. My son’s father ended up taking a job out of state so I had no choice but to raise him by myself. His dad wanted to marry me and proposed to me twice but that was not approved by God. This relationship was a hindrance in my life and was leading me to my destruction…BUT GOD.

On June 26, 2013, I attended a summer revival at my church. I went to the altar and there the preacher called me out. That night, I completely gave my life to God and refilled with the Holy Spirit. I permanently broke off my relationship with his father but he still stayed in Dre’s life. (That was God’s blessings for being obedient because I never have to argue with him about sending anything for Dre.) Now, I am walking into a period of healing and restoration. I am ready to see this new “ShuCora”, experience a “godly” marriage with God’s Choice for me, continue to raise my son in holiness, and most of all have a powerful relationship with God. That is why I am excited to write and committed to sharing stories that will draw you closer to God. There are many things God placed on my heart to do and can’t wait to fulfill them :).

I am planning to release my first poetry book next month. Deep in my heart, I know God has called me to write but never thought about writing my testimony. I thought my life was too boring to write about (😂…back to my serious face) but I was concealing some intimate things that needed to be released. In my book, you will read poems of hurt, rejection, liberation, freedom, and encouragement so there is something for everybody. I pray that you will be encouraged to share your testimony as well.

If you’ve been keeping up with my short story, Parris’s Hope, I did not post anything last Friday but will post Chapter 3 this Friday. Also, if you have any feedback, feel free to comment. I would love to hear your thoughts and/or your testimony ;).