Fear/Break Loose/

Inspiring and encouraging others to break free from what’s holding them back from a great and fulfilling life

Life Partner Not A Bed Buddy

Last week, I had a very, interesting prayer moment. Now, I really don’t pray about my relationships or love life but I found myself praying for my future husband, (no I don’t know who He is yet 😉). I started praying for our relationship to be a godly example to others, praying for our household, and soon went into the presence of God as I continue to pray. Now, that moment made me realized that I want a life partner not someone to just have sex with. Why? Keep reading.

Your key does not fit my lock. Have you ever been the “good girl” or “good boy”? You know the one that has it all together and deemed a good catch in the eyes of the undeserving. That chic was me and back then, I didn’t know how valuable I was. I knew I was a good girl but had terrible taste in guys. Those guys I met only wanted to add bad behavior to my character…..A lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets….so the “good girl” status was not enough for them. Relationships are not meant to be forced but fitted. I’m not what you called a relationship expert because I only had one serious relationship in my life, (the other relationship was just a phone conversation….talk about that at another time.) That one serious relationship taught me a lot of lessons. First, I wasted a lot of time with the wrong person. Second, I gave away my virginity, identity, value, dignity, integrity, and basically everything just to make the relationship work and please this one man…..and still fell apart. Lastly, I was never at peace being with this guy even to the point that saying “I Love You” to him didn’t feel comfortable. Of course, it’s been said that opposites attract but opposites don’t really attract when God has a say so in it.

Steaming Night or Enormous Destiny?? Sex has always been that touchy and controversial topic that sometimes we want to tip toe by but let me hit it straight on. Once you opened the box, it’s hard to stop. Sex is a gift from God and intended to be enjoyed within marriage. When you taste that gift before then and especially with the wrong person, it becomes more like a drug then pleasure. You discovered something pleasurable without understanding its context. All you want is that same sensational feeling every time and overlooking the warning signs about the person you sleeping with. Premarital sex place the focus on the gift not the Giver. I lost my virginity at 21 and became sexual active soon after in my relationship. Of course, being the church girl I was, I had to learn how to dodge and hide. Dodging my parents’ call and any church member when I was with my boyfriend. Hiding what I was doing so no one can find out….well until I turned up pregnant. Now did God had a great plan for me after college? Yes. Did I delay it? Of course but He still kept His promise to me…so I had to wait a few years for it. Disobedience is the price we pay for not listening to God. God always warn me about guys but I was desperate to have a boyfriend and experiment with sex. I ended up with a bed buddy since our relationship was mostly centered around sex. To some, you may think it’s love if he’s not cheating on you. The truth is that they are stealing from you. The time you wasted in bed could have been used toward your future. Let me give you an example. There were things I never liked about my ex and wished he were like this other type of guy or did certain couple things without sex being involved in the negotiation. For date night, you planning sex but not your future……or even marriage? If I had listened to God in the beginning of my relationship, I probably would be with the right guy now, married, and have a couple of children. (Listen, God can still give you a mate according to His timing. When we defer from His plan for us as a wife/husband, the wait is longer.)

I learned my lesson and have the scars to prove it. Back to the sex talk, soul ties exist. God speaks about how our bodies are not made for sexual immorality. When you engage in premarital sex, it’s like making a covenant between your soul and theirs. After you two break up, the aftermath is still there. I have to seriously pray against the demonic spirit speaking against my future and steadily bringing up my ex to me. Also, I have to put boundaries between my ex and I because I’m trying to kill my flesh. Yes, I have a child by him but that doesn’t mean we have to be best friends. (Remember, we fight devils not people. My ex was not really a bad person but he carried a spirit that was trying to kill my destiny. Chew on that for a while.) The mindset I had after I broke up with him was that I could never find anyone for me. The guys that approached me throughout my young life wanted to be bed buddies and I didn’t know anything outside of that. My prayer last week really comforted me because it confirmed that my ex was not my future and to Move On. (OAN: It must be something really special about my future “mate” if I went into God’s presence like that. We shall see 😊.)

Don’t be afraid to ask God…Open Your Mouth To all my sanctified and Holy Ghost filled men and women of God……Stop looking up side God’s head and just tell Him what you want. Wanting to be married is not a sin! There is a verse in the Bible that talks about not having what we want because we don’t ask. Honestly some of us are still single because we won’t ask for a mate or even prepare to be one. At first, I thought asking God for a husband was disrespectful and thinking it will take the place of God in my life. But that’s wrong thinking! A God-centered relationship will Only enhance your walk with God. If God gave you the desire for marriage, then it’s going to happen. I told God the things I wanted in a mate and I know God will answer according to His Will. When praying for your mate, be upfront with your weaknesses as well. You don’t want a mate too fast if you don’t have your business in order. I’m not saying be this totally perfect person with no flaws but some flaws can’t enter my future relationship. (I can’t have no remembrance of my past.) God has placed a lot of things on my heart to do and I need a man to complement that. Imagine this. Wouldn’t it be great to start a business and having your spouse plan the early stages of it with you? Wouldn’t it be great to have someone to push you to be stronger instead of adding to your weaknesses? Wouldn’t it be refreshing to have someone who say they’re saved, actually read their Bible, and favored by God because of their righteous living? You never have to worry like you did with the thugs and thots you use to date…it’s true. Ladies, having a man of God and men, having a woman of God gives you a peace of mind. You know your marriage will be solid and so will your destiny. So ladies and gents, reevaluate your relationships. Cut off the bed buddies and start preparing for your life partner! That’s my thoughts for tonight lol. Please feel free to comment and share your thoughts about relationships, love, or just life. Love to hear from you and enjoy the rest of your night peeps!

6 responses to “Life Partner Not A Bed Buddy”

  1. I always felt that praying too long and too hard for a man was being annoying to God and desperate. I also thought that since I had participates in pre-marital sex that I lost the right to ask God for what I wanted. But now I will.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. HeartofaWriter Avatar

      When you asked God for forgiveness, He wiped your slate clean. You’re qualified in God’s eyes so make your request known lol. I felt like a burden was lifted lol when I finally told God what was on my heart concerning a husband but if He puts the desire of marriage in your heart then He will fulfill it in right timing 😉.


      1. I shall the next time I pray my deep prayer. Everyone tells me that I’ll be a great wife and mother and inwardly Im like “does God think so?” Because if he did then wheres my man? But Iv learned that I had so much to learn so I feel that its coming but I’m scared to really ask for it. I don’t want God to think that thats all I care about.


      2. HeartofaWriter Avatar

        Lol hey I thought the same way too but I try not to overdo it either lol. God knows what we’re thinking and He doesn’t want us to be fearful to approach Him. Of course, God is not our “magic genie” but He do want us to be honest about our feelings so He can help us wait until the husband comes. As you pray, just let Him lead you. You will be surprised what you end up praying for. That what happen to me.


      3. I just love you. Your responses are like golden nuggets!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      4. You’re welcome! I always like to chat with other people about lifez


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About Me

Hi..My name is ShuCora Walker. No, I am not the woman in the picture, but my words represent people like her. People who love good conversations. People who enjoy sharing their life stories. People who tell the truth to not only inspire but to heal, learn, and grow. I have been writing since my preteen years and found peace in letting my heart bleed out on the paper through my words. The focus of my writing has always been to share stories of triumph, struggles, and faith because God is the reason why I write. I remember at one point that I wanted to take my life, but God deemed it not to be because He still had a purpose for my life. Now, I am using my words to share my life journey so others can learn from it. Yes, one day I plan to open up this platform to other writers so we can continue to learn from different experiences of life. So, this is a space for anyone seeking to live a life of real freedom and enjoy some good moments along the way…


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