“You formed the way I think and feel. You put me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because you made me in such a wonderful way. I know how amazing that was!”
Psalms 139:13-14 ERV
In this picture, you see me and my son, Dre, smiling and celebrating his graduation from PreK but according to society, you should see us as “mistakes” or “bastards”, (I hate that word so much now because it literally means children born outside of wedlock). Not everyone deals with rejection but it is still pretty strong in our world today. So this afternoon or night rather, I want to speak my heart concerning this subject.
My mom had me at 22 and I had my son at 23. When my mom was pregnant with me, she really didn’t tell anyone except for my aunt. A year later, she had my brother and becoming a single parent was not something she wanted. Her situation didn’t stay that way for long because my dad eventually married her. So how heartbreaking it is to see your oldest daughter go down the same path you did? I miscarried my first child at 23 and gave birth to my second child later that year. I didn’t marry my son’s father because God never signed off on our relationship in the first place. Marrying him will only be dragging Dre into our problems. So now I am the single mom trying to coparent with his dad. By society’s statistics, I suppose to be on welfare and have two or three more kids with a second baby daddy. By the grace of God, I gave my life to Jesus Christ and God set me on the path of success. Sometimes it doesn’t always feel like that because I was the “unplanned pregnancy” or basically not suppose to be here.
Satan works hard to destroy our identity even before we are born. He plants seeds of rejection to interrupt God’s plan for us. If your mom didn’t want you, then you start thinking that no one loves you. Or what if you were that child that was almost aborted or you were given up for adoption then the devil starts to weave mistrust and insecurity inside your DNA so you will meditate on being a mistake. Let me speak Life to you. GOD NEVER MAKE MISTAKES. You are not an “oops” or “maybe” but you are “PURPOSE”. God never waste time on anything that is not needed on this Earth. I never asked to be born outside of marriage or watch my mom work so hard to take care of two kids. Likewise my son never asked to be born into a single parent household or watch me work, study, cook, and clean just to keep our home functioning properly. Despite our circumstances, God planned a purpose.
My encouragement to all the parents, married or not, is to never speak, think, talk, or act negative about your child(ren). As parents, we set the tone for our kids’ lives. I walked around with guilt for a long time over the fact I had my son outside of wedlock. I thought he was going to be a statistic or not special at all because of how he was born. I thought I should treat him as though he was the problem and even felt that others did too. Today, I realize that I don’t want to speak death over my son’s future by reciting the devil’s lies in my head. I’m speaking Life to him because HE IS NOT A MISTAKE. We cannot allow the past to dictate how we live our lives. I am a successful and beautiful young woman that is building her career, preparing to write her second book, paid off her car, and a champion for Jesus Christ. I AM NOT MY CIRCUMSTANCES. You have to believe that you have purpose and nothing that happens in your life is a mistake. God is Lord over All and He sees every event in your life. He doesn’t see you or your child as a mistake. He sees GREATNESS.
So to my teen mom, single parent, or anyone that has children….Do not allow society, people, and even yourself to tear down you or those precious babies. We are not an “oops” , “mistake”, “unplanned”, or “unfortunate”. We are fearfully and wonderfully made and a vital part of God’s plan. The world needed you and me so we had to get here one way or another 😉. Enjoy your night, Great Men and Women of God!!
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