Hello on this afternoon! I want to talk about the picture above for a quick second. I can suspect that they are both having a intimate conversation as friends and the expressions on their faces can be seen as feelings of relief. It is great to have a space where you can truly be yourself without feeling judged or condemned. Do you wish you have more moments like that? I share do and I CAN. If you are like me, you have dealt with the confinement of “people pleasing”. You want to please everyone and accept whatever they throw at you without question but I learned that usually ends in bitterness and resentment. As I am getting older, I realize that those issues have to be confronted because I have always been a person that kept a lot of things inside instead of releasing them. I am in my early 30’s and refuse for my life to look the same ten years from now. That also applies to the direction I want to go in life and the plans I want to pursue. Yes, I do get feelings of fear and doubt to step out on certain things because of how people may feel about them but I cannot hide what was put inside of me for the world. My advice to you is to be honest and stay honest not only to yourself but the people around you. Your journey is your journey and you should not be shamed of the things you had to conquer and currently working through. It is not wise to hold all of these past emotions, feelings, and thoughts inside and we need to learn how to release them. That is not dependent on another person’s feelings or how they think you should feel about a past or present situation. You need to be honest because healing is never rooted in lies. I wanted to share three thoughts I had concerning this topic.
Accept your raw feelings. Sometimes we tend to make things look like gold when they are really trash. I am guilty of defending people that I allowed to deposit seeds of rejection and lust into my life instead of looking at the situation for what it really was. I downplay the feelings I had about the experience until resentment builds up against the person. I am learning that I must be honest about how I feel because my voice do matter. Although the truth can be uncomfortable for some but I am after my healing and not someone else’s feelings. Professing the truth is not really putting the blame on someone but just acknowledging the damage done from the situation. If you want to heal, you must be honest about the things that have happened to you and the things you have done that harmed yourself as well, (not from a self-condemnation view). Lying is a way to cover up things and the truth is a way to uncover things. Once I uncover those bad seeds, I replace them with peace, joy, forgiveness, and ultimately allowing God to heal those wounds.
Own your dreams. Do not be ashamed of the desires and goals inside of your heart. If you are a dreamer, own it! If you are a visionary, own it! If you are a creative, own it! Whatever your dreams are, take ownership of it. Despite the struggles I have and the lessons I’m still learning, I have BIG dreams and destined to do GREAT things. I cannot hide behind my past and neglect those talents inside of me. We feel like we have to be worthy of certain opportunities or gain certain levels of approval in order to pursue our goals. We have to remember that we are responsible for our own individual life. I have to treasure the talents, dreams, and vision that I possess and put my ALL into it. There is more to you than you know.
Remember you do not owe anyone. I read an interesting article today on false guilt and it gave me some type of hope and understanding about my personal struggles. I feel like my life has to cater to people’s acceptance instead of owning my own life. I am responsible for me and not no one else. If I desire to be healed, strive for better in my life, and seek a higher relationship with God, then that comes with ending certain relationships that are damaging to my spirit, managing my time better, and may have to say “NO” to some things. It is a hard life catering to someone’s else feelings, agenda, and comfort which leads to such a detrimental state of self-neglect. It almost like making people “our god” instead of living to please GOD. God wants me whole and not to neglect those areas that ail me but bring those areas to Him. God knows my journey and He created me in such a way that only I can handle that journey assigned for my life. It is not left up to no one but me to fulfill that path. I must do whatever it takes to LIVE MY LIFE.
I hope you all have a great night and feel free to leave a comment :).
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