Fear/Break Loose/

For years, I been mostly a “closed book”. I never really opened up much except when it came to my writing but truthfully I was not like this when I was a child. I was very upbeat and talkative until I reached my pre-teen years and started to shut down. That was mainly due to my internal struggles that I felt like I could not open up about to anyone. I am a unique individual and see the world very differently from the people around me so I had a hard time expressing myself because I was so different. Growing up, a good portion of us were taught, either directly or indirectly, not to be vocal about certain things and “to stay in a child’s place and be seen not heard”. Most likely we have carried those characteristics and rules into our adulthood, which results in difficulty of expressing our wants and needs when interacting with others. It is very damaging to bottle up your issues and even, certain desires of the heart because you can end up complacent and missing out on your own life. So, I wanted to put out this public service announcement, “STOP THE SHYNESS”. I am not writing this just to you but for myself as well.

As I mentioned before, it is never good to hold back feelings and emotions from things you are dealing with because silence is destructive. I believe everyone needs that space to be open and not just about our issues but our desires within our heart. Sometimes when I pray, I do not always be fully open with God about the things I truly desire. Although God knows the desires are clearly in my heart, I do not voice all of them because of thoughts such as “I am dreaming too big” or “God does not really care”. With that type of negative thinking, I come before God as this “shy, little girl” instead of a bold woman.

Last night, I decided to pray for a particular thing and felt like something was lifted off of my shoulder afterwards. I chose to be bold this time with what I desired and left it at God’s feet. It was nothing wrong with the desire I set before God but my mentality had to change about it. I had closed my mouth for so long that I hid the very things that I needed to voice that could unlock my future and potential. Being shy about things is no longer cute because your silence could be the very reason why things are not moving the way they need to in your life. You have to open up your mouth and take off the mask of timidity. Do not get me wrong. I’m not saying to pretend to be something that you are not but do not hide your voice.

I’m starting to believe that “shyness” is not a personality trait but a way that we choose to communicate. Being bold or even vocal has nothing to do with how loud you are but knowing how to communicate what you need to go forward in life. Honestly that can mean a number of things. It can mean opening up your mouth to a counselor or a trusted friend about the trauma you experienced in the past in order for you to heal. It can mean opening up your mouth in prayer about your future spouse or the business ideas you want to bring into fruition. For some us, it may be vital for us to voice out a “break-up” to people we need to disconnect from so we will not bring these wrong friendships/relationships into the future God planned for our life. If you need something, say it. If you have a pure desire that you want to see fulfilled, voice it. Remember, silence brings death to your future. Speak up because your life is dependent on it.