Fear/Break Loose/

Happy Thursday everyone! The last two weeks have been a little strained because of graduate courses due to some bad time management and “overthinking”. It is amazing how the mind works. We can meditate on something for so long that it starts to become our reality. If you think “I cannot do not this”, then you will not do it. This also work with positive thinking as well. If you think “I can finish this project”, then you will do it. This works with life. Sometimes it can be hard moving away from the past, when the past still lives in our head. Whether it is bad memories or even good memories, we have to learn to let go of what was in order to embrace what it can be.

One day, I was praying to God to help me to stop chasing ghosts. I was referring to situations from my past. Carrying the resentment, un-forgiveness, shame, and condemnation from things that has already passed was hindering me from fully moving forward in various areas of my life. This also applies to good memories and being comfortable with just being “good” and not “great”. We can place a limit on ourselves and will not reach for higher due to living in that comfort zone. Today, I want to do a little short story to drive this point home. Enjoy!

There is a town called Past located in a rural area, where there is no conflict, trouble, or movement. A young woman named May made her home there. She lives in a old, rusty house filled with boxes and boxes of old clothes, shoes, and pictures. She never unpacked them but choose to live around them. Her days are usually the same. She goes to the town’s grocery store for food, to the town’s library to read, and ends her day at the town’s dance hall for entertainment. Her routine has not changed in ten years until one day. There was a traveler named Grace that was seeking somewhere to rest for a while before heading to her final destination. She stumbled upon this town and decided to seek out a place to eat. As she explored the town, she noticed that something was wrong. There was no people there. There was no streetlights or any sign of life until she saw a woman walking. She was bent over and wearing a brown blanket.

Grace approached her and said, “Hi. My name is Grace. I am looking for somewhere to eat and relax for a while. Where are the people? It feels like a ghost town.”

May laughed and responded, “My name is May. This is a great town! Would you like to come to the grocery store to get something to eat?” Grace nodded yes and followed May.

When they stepped inside of the grocery store, Grace noticed rotten food everywhere. Grace asked, “Have anyone delivered fresh food here?”

May answered, “I do not need to eat anything new. This food is perfect for me.” Grace looked at the rotten teeth in May’s mouth as May reached for a rotten apple to eat off the floor.

Grace responds, “I am not hungry anymore, but I do have a question. Are you the only person in this town?”

May ignored Grace’s question and responds, “I am in the mood of reading a good book. Would you like to join me at the library?”

Grace decided to accompany her and go to the library. When Grace walked in, she noticed that there were no books except one on a dusty, green shelf.

Grace asked, “Where are the books? How is this a library?”

May responded as she pulled out a small red book, “I do not need any books. I only want to read this one.”

Grace decided to pick up the book on the green shelf. As she read through it, she started to put together the pieces of what have happened in the town of Past. The town of Past was once a vibrant town populated with lots of people but came to a point that it was un-livable. Their resources were being depleted and and living spaces became scarce. Due to the lack, crime was breaking out all over the town and people were fighting to survive. One day, all of the townspeople, except for May, decided to pack up and leave the town of Past to seek out a better future for themselves. Everyone except May realized that they could not live in Past and sustain a living there for long.

“So why is this woman stuck here?” Grace thought.

So Grace asked again, “Where are the people?”

May responded, “They are at the dance hall waiting for me right now. Let’s go!”

They both left the library and went to the dance hall. As Grace stepped inside of the building, she saw nothing but old pictures with dust everywhere. May turned on the music and started to dance with the pictures. Grace walked outside and started to realize that May was trying to survive in a deserted town that was not meant for her to live in. She noticed that May dropped her red book on the ground. She picked it up and read the title, “My Life”. She noticed something very odd about the book. Every page was filled with the same following words: PAST IS MY HOME.

May finally came outside and asked Grace, “Why are you not in there talking to the people?”

Grace passed May her book and kindly responded, “They are not real.”

May stood there for a second and a tear fell down her face. Grace gently asked her, “Would you like to come with me to a better place?”

May answered, “This is my home. I am happy here.”

Grace responded, “Look around you. There is no food, water, and even people here. You do not look like you are happy and you will soon die here. Come with me.”

May took off her blanket and smiled, “I am happy. I can do what I want here and never leave.”

As May stood there, Grace saw the ugliness of her truth. She looked malnourished with bruises and scars covering her skin. May did not noticed her condition but became accustomed to her state of living. Grace concluded that this woman was living in an illusion and was trying to re-live a time that she could not go back to change. She did not continue to plead with her to leave but said her goodbyes and left the town of Past. May puts on her blanket and heads back to her home…….

Regardless of what have happened, the past cannot fit into the future that we are going. There was more I wanted to add to this story, (I am writer so it can be hard to stop lol), but I will leave you to your own conclusions but the moral is to not live in the past. We cannot go back and change what have happened but we can strive toward the future God wants for us. Hopefully I will get back to sharing some more short stories and chat with you all next week!