Fear/Break Loose/

This morning, I felt on my heart to pray for single parents. Yes, I am a single mother myself, but I wanted to pray for the hearts and minds of others. Not every parenting situation is the same when it comes to single mothers and fathers. Some of us are co-parenting with the other parent, while others are completely on their own. Regardless of how our situation is set up, we still share similar pains and had to walk some of the same paths to stabilize a one-parent household. Today, I want to encourage whoever is reading this to…LIVE ABOVE IT.

My prayer this morning hit a specific area because I understand how easy it is to become “Stuck” and not deal with the pain from the situation that caused us to raise our children in a one-parent household. I prayed this morning for healing and letting go of the pain, because resentment and unforgiveness can block a lot of blessings that need to enter our life. I have carried the shame and resentment after breaking up with my son’s father that ended with me raising my son in a one-parent household. I never felt peace by being in that relationship so becoming a single mother seemed to be inevitable in a way from that, but it does not have to stay that way. I understand walking through the “whispers” and the “gossip”. I understand dealing with the financial pressures, even with help from the other parent. I definitely understand the weight of responsibility that parenthood has on one person. Now this may not be for every single parent, but this is definitely for the ones that can admit that the pain is still there. Regardless if you are feeling pain from the other parent, family, or even yourself for having your child outside of marriage, I am going to leave with you a few thoughts so you can learn to ride the waves of life and not drown.

Live above the “talk”. People have the right to say what they want, but I also have the right to listen or not. I am believer that experiences help you see a situation from a different lens. I have received remarks from people that do not understand my situation as a single mother, but act as if they do. Now, I have learned to let people talk until they experience children. We have to think about in that way because sometimes people will allow “criticism in a so-called nice way” to be the center of conversation with you. You do not have to live out the “stereotypes” people may have placed on you as a single parent. You have to live above the negative comments made about your parenting and children, because those words can take root within your heart. That applies to what you say about yourself. Who said single parents cannot soar in life??? Who said you cannot get married??? Who said you cannot go back to school??? Whatever answer you come up with counts as an EXCUSE. Live above it.

Live above the memories. You do not have to feel shamed about breaking up with the other parent, because your peace is valuable. God never approved me to marry my ex and to be honest, we barely connected in certain areas because of our different backgrounds and value system. In my eyes, broken homes are the result of two wrong individuals that are not suitable for each other. As a parent, you have to make the right decision about who you decide to marry and influence your child. On the other hand, I understand the bitterness that can rise within after seeing your baby mother or baby father get with someone new and it feels as if you are left in the dark about everything. Your child or children been around the person a couple times, and you have yet to be introduced. The way to handle that is to follow peace. You are not missing anything by not being in a relationship with the other parent because you made the decision to move forward for better. If you meet, be kind but do not allow the sight of someone’s else relationship cause you to regret your decision. If God told you to break it off, then move on. (God rewards obedience.) Even if they left you, you put the old memories behind you and start living to make new ones with someone that do deserve you.

Live above the challenge. Not every single parent is broke or struggling, but there are other challenges that do arise beside financial ones. One of the hardest points in my journey was discipling my son. I felt that I had to prove that I was such a “great mother” and tried to instill that fear within my son without “love” present. Love does not make a child soft, but it gives them that strength knowing that they have a parent willing to teach them the right way. It was not until I decided that I was going to do things that work for me and my child. I am less frustrated and able to stand in my own decisions because this is my household. (Not to sound harsh when I say that.) Whether its a financial challenge or even a co-parenting one, be willing to stand firm in the decision you made to handle these types of situations. Everything does not work for my household but I am confident enough to find what will. Playing the role of a victim will never get anyone far in life. Yes, as single parents, we have a lot on our plates, but we do not have to appear as weaklings to the world. We have our own minds and power to make the right decisions for ourselves and children. That does not mean we do not need help sometimes, but we do not have to allow society to place us in a box of suffering and keep us limited in our thinking, goal-setting, and in moving forward.

This is my prayer for each and every single parent that needs it:

“Dear God Our Father, Be the Strength that every single mother and single father need to navigate each day. Remove the shame and guilt surrounding their situation and redeem them from every hurtful moment within this journey of single parenthood. Heal the broken hearts that feel abandoned and confused. Help them to release the anger, bitterness, and resentment so their Future can come in. Help them to fully surrender their cares and hurts to you. I thank you God for the great plans you are going to bestow on them. In Jesus’s Name. Amen.“

Good day! As always feel free to comment!