Here are three things I stand by:
1. No more “bed buddies”
2. No taking my clothes off in order for a guy to date me
3. No more sex before marriage because I want God’s absolute best for me not settle for what’s in the streets
It takes some boldness to state that because this has been a struggle area for me. I have put a lot of energy into trying to please people, especially men, and compromised my values just to be treated as “2nd class”. It didn’t matter what they said out their mouth because lust led most of the conversations. Of course, I can state that my view on sex is of unpopular opinion because not many value the sanctity of waiting for marriage. But I lived life….life taught me that God’s way is best for me.
Speaking from my own experience, I did not value my body as much. On one hand, I did not put a lot of effort into how I looked because I was already feeling bad about myself on the inside. On the other hand, I never cared much about how short or tight my clothing were as long as a guy liked it. So my body was not seen as treasure in my eyes until my heart start to speak. My heart spoke about the brokenness I was trying to hide and technically I was using these men to compensate that….real talk. It takes stepping back to come up with those conclusions.
So when I think of our bodies, I think of pearls and pearls are not worn with just anything or even mishandled. To protect our purity is to protect what we value. If our bodies are not valued much to us, then having multiple sex partners or giving up your virginity easily will become a norm in your eyes. Protect your treasure like a billion dollars. (You know you will not allow anyone into your money.) Even if you are not a virgin, you can always be restored and presented again as a beautiful work of art to your future spouse.
Pearls are precious. Having a long list of sex partners is not that cute to me anymore. Passing your body around like Kool-Aid is not appealing because it shows how much you think you are worth. We can talk about strippers and prostitution all day but some of us have done those very things “for free” and we are no different than them. When something is precious, access is restricted. Not just anyone can touch or look, but only at the permission of the owner. You have the right to say “NO”. No, I do not have to have sex with you….you are not my husband. No, you do not own me….ask My Creator for permission (He made me boo.) God created us as spectacular masterpieces and ladies, we have to treasure ourselves as such.
Pearls are matchless. Did you know that you are unique? No really, do you believe that? Being a virgin is not a crime, but it makes you “one of a kind”. There should not be no shame attached to your decision about saving yourself for marriage because you are stating that you do not have to conform to being “like everyone else”. Even if you did have a crazy sexual past, I will repeat this how ever many times I need to: “You can start over”.
Pearls are whole and everlasting. Let me ask you a question. Do you want just a regular marriage or an unbreakable one? Do you want a marriage with a broken person so you can be “the other half” or a “whole” person so you can become One with who they are? When we go through life and experience the trials that come with it, we have to be mindful of the “aftermath”. The “aftermath” can cause us to stay stuck, live reckless, or even suppress all those issues within until we decide that our healing and self-respect is more valuable than what we experienced. Being whole has nothing to do with being perfect but constantly and consistently growing. You have to decide that this is how you want to live your life. Whether you are a virgin or not, you have to decide how you would conduct yourself in the body given to you. Will you honor your body according to God’s desires for you or disrespect it the way the world wants you to?
Ladies, (and gents too), I hope this served as a great reminder to how valuable you are. Stop playing yourself like a game and step to this world like the wonderful and great person I know you are. Good day! (….may talk again later tonight to close this out!)
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