Let me ask you a question. How long was your longest relationship? Mine was three years. Second question. Does the length constitutes “real love” or growth? Everyone has a definition and expectations of how a relationship should be, but what happens when those relationships fall apart. Do we ever consider the “start”? Some of us start relationships wrong. End of story. It has taken me some years to realize the type of relationship I want to be in. It has taken me some time to change my view on both dating and marriage. A broken heart can reveal a lot of “missing answers” after bad breakups. The heart knows that we really was not into certain people, and that “the exes” should have never been a “candidate” to partake in our dating life from the beginning. It does not matter how long you dated someone, it does not mean that you know a whole lot about them. True intimacy has nothing do with the bedroom, but found in “getting to know someone”. We oftentimes replace sex with “getting to know someone”, instead of putting forth the effort into knowing that person.
These are my thoughts concerning genuine love. To love again is to step into love with “love”. Genuine love is not “lust based”. It is not full of fear. It is not bitter or unforgiving. After broken relationships, healing has to occur so you will not take those same mindsets from the “old” to the “new”. Sometimes we have this fear that “next time” will not work and will end like the last time. For others, you have experienced some turmoil, trauma, or even the pain of unmet expectations that place this thought of you being “unlovable”. There are lies that we have to uproot in order to turn this new chapter in our lives. Can you start over and love again? Yes. Of course. It is a blessing to have someone that you can spend the rest of your life with, (so I want this for you as well!), but we cannot approach the same way we did in the past. So what needs to be done differently?
Forgive. Release. Heal. Start Over. Forgive yourself for entering “bad” relationships, and forgive the exes attach to them. Release all the hurt attached to the bad blood drained from those relationships. Heal from “hurtful words said”, “promises that was never kept”, and the “illusion of a perfect relationship”. Start over in a new frame of mind. Continue to walk in healing and please……DO NOT GO BACK TO THE PAST. If you know that love was not there, pack those memories up and throw them in the trash. Prepare your heart to make room for the “One” that was truly created for you…..Goodnight my peeps!
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