Fear/Break Loose/

This poem was published in my very first book “Testimonies of A Young Woman: Pieces of My Journey”…(still on Amazon!)..but this piece of poetic expression was a way for me to vent out my frustration with the pressure of trying to be like what is. I am not aiming to be popular or this top superstar, or the most likable person in the world, but I aim to be comfortable being the woman God made me to be…without apology. So I am proud of my faith in God, my transparency with others in my writing, the talents I have, and my overall journey. Hey life is too short to be a people pleaser…so stop apologizing….Enjoy the poem.

Sometimes I feel that “I’m sorry” is not enough

Moving forward with my life does not silence the critics

My past has been buried but wants to resurrect in my future

Must I answer for every change I implement in my life

Do I need to seek permission for every move I make

Silent grudges held against me and plots are put in place for my downfall all because I am trying to awake

Awaken to the Word spoken from the lips of my Creator

He proclaimed that I am His masterpiece created to do great things

Yet it is hard to believe what God says about me

I am constantly overwhelmed with guilty thoughts reminding me of who I use to be

My past wants to show me memories and the world tells me that I am the enemy

Still seeking me to apologize well here is the only apology letter that you will receive from me

I do not apologize for wearing a smile everyday despite what I deal with

Done with that old chick that held her head down and displayed frowns on her face

I do not apologize for walking off from a crazy lifestyle so I can hook up with greatness

So keep your tissues and useless sympathy because my past is not worth any tears

I do not apologize for opening up to forgiveness and learning to love again

Refuse to carry myself like a hater full of anger or allow rage to keep me isolated in a cage of bitterness

I am a woman of dignity so I am not sorry for denying to play the role of another man’s lustful fantasy

The only time that you want to meet is between the sheets but having no ring canceled all benefits from me

I do not apologize for not wearing short skirts or club wear

A woman of grace wears modesty as honor and no need of showing off my body to score a date

I do not apologize for standing out from the status quo

I learned that your opinions of me are only lies that I can ignore

I do not apologize for falling head over heels for a man who proved his love by dying in my place

I do not apologize for walking in freedom when Christ made a way for me not to be a slave

So I am not scared to say that I am saved because my relationship with God is more than a Sunday

Do not expect me to shake in fear when I stand up for right because wrong was carrying me to an early grave

Finally I am not writing this to get a Hooray because I give God all the glory for every word I pen and say

Recognize that He already honors me like a queen and not as a peasant that begs for your applause and cheers anyway

Now should I keep on saying sorry for making a change in my life

Do I regret trading in sorrow for joy or hatred for pure love

Walking around this Earth feeling low for being different and set apart

Twisting my own arm to keep quiet and hold back the potential engraved in me

All because of the regret that is held over my head forcing me to give up

But sorry I cannot entertain that foolishness anymore

Now this letter is not to spread hate on anyone or lead you into gossip

The only enemies that I am addressing is guilt, fear, and condemnation

The very things that hold people back from destiny and keep them captive in the past

Instead of embracing new beginnings, you waste time apologizing for mistakes made back then

Remember Jesus forgave you of those things so its time to kick them out of your memory

And gain the courage to go home and write your own no-apology letter