Fear/Break Loose/

We all need someone.

That statement alone had struck fear in me many times before. I was rebelling against the fact that I needed “people” when I had experienced “people” being horrible to me. Now, what’s wrong with that statement is that I have not experienced everyone. I made my experiences with a handful of people to become truth. I believed that it was true that I can make it in this world alone, although I still desired someone to share my life with. I believed that it was true that I will never find anyone, outside of my own family, that will fit me or want to be friends with me. I have heard from people that there is a difference between being “alone” and being “lonely”. To be “alone” is to be only with yourself in a certain space or context, but to be “lonely” is to be absent of true human connection. A person can be alone in a room by themselves to study or work, but they are not lonely because they have healthy relationships to engage with outside of them. This is what we truly need….life-giving circles.

Those circles can be any amount of people, but their individual’s purpose is the same…to help you walk out this journey of life. When I think of the relationships I chose to entertain, I have to admit to myself that I chose those people out of my own rejection toward myself. To put up with anything from people is to reject yourself of real love, real acceptance, and real care. As a result, I had to learn some hard lessons. I felt drained from certain situations. I felt I had to sacrifice who I truly was in order to please them all the time BUT is not really their fault because I CHOSE THEM. I CHOSE LONELINESS instead of genuine connection. Yes, a person can have a lot of people around them, but still feel lonely. That loneliness comes from a lack of being poured into by the right people. This is one area of my life that I had to take to God in prayer, because I finally realized that I NEED PEOPLE. (Life will teach you that!)

When I think about certain situations I was in, I needed a true friend back then to guide me out that mess. I needed someone to correct the bad behavior I was displaying and remind me that I was better than that. I needed someone to actually take the time out to get to know me and navigate certain seasons in my life alongside me. Now, I am very aware that some of the people that I called “friend” and “boo” were not really in my life for the right reasons. The fact that I entertained them in those moments of my life revealed that I was wrong for becoming a part of their lives too. I am at the point in my journey that I am only seeking to engage with “life-giving” people. I do not want to be lonely.

As always feel free to comment and leave your thoughts…don’t mind chatting with you, my friend!