Fear/Break Loose/

Happy Saturday and Happy 4th of July Weekend! I scheduled some time out today to do some writing so let me share some mini thoughts with my ladies on today!

I did a video for my YT channel (Convos. Canvas. Christ.) on yesterday where I talked about self-esteem. I titled the video “My Self Esteem Will Not Be Found in Men, Things, or Social Media”…. (yes, a long title lol), because I believe those are three of the main things that some of us women seemed to attach our self-esteem too. Yes, I am guilty of all three. I have been open on this blog about my own struggles with feelings of rejection and low self-esteem, so I understand how one can easily attach themselves to anything that might give them some type of worth. I also understand how this longing for acceptance and love can send you on this unnecessary search for validation, but I also had to make the decision to stop looking in the wrong places. So here are a few thoughts to think about…

My self-esteem will NOT be found in men. A relationship can last, and it can also fall apart. So, when I tie my value to romance or companionship, then I am allowing myself to be defined by that relationship. This was one area of my life where the struggle was real. I gave attention to every guy that showed me attention, because I did not feel that I was worth anything if I did not have a guy beside me. I was not a serial dater like that, (only been in one relationship and one situation-ship….y’all know what that means), but I would dedicate all of my time to pleasing another man. From those few experiences, I had to learn some hard lessons. I learned that lust is not love, and not to settle for less than what I deserve/desire.

My self-esteem will NOT be found in things (i.e. money, clothes, etc.) I admit that I love to shop, but I also know that “just having things” will not fulfill me. It’s easy to blame social media for people showing off their house and cars, (which they may not own), but I have to look at the person that decided to post it. Why do they feel the need to always show off what they have? Is their status in life defined by how much they have in the bank? Sometimes it may seem that way, but it’s pure deception. If you lack peace and joy, all of those purses, shoes, and clothes will just be another prop for a shallow woman.

My self-esteem will NOT be found in social media. I have struggled with this. Why? I was measuring myself off a “fake standard” that I saw other people measuring themselves. Like, comments, shares, and views seem to be the validation that some seek, but it’s not a sure thing. Those things can change. One day, hundreds will like your post, and next week, you may only get two likes. Social media platforms are always changing, so I cannot place my worth on “an algorithm”. Even now I have to remind myself as I’m starting to build my YT channel, blog, and Instagram that I have a purpose in doing this, and that I’m okay starting small. I was amazing before social media got here, so I am just bringing my amazing self to bless the digital space. (Hey, got to celebrate You…you are the “amazement”!)

As always, feel free to share your thoughts…. chat with you on tomorrow!