Fear/Break Loose/

Disappointments are real.

Let that statement sink in for a minute. We are human beings that can feel everything. We feel happiness. We feel pain. We feel confusion, and even surprises. Sometimes we do desire to dismiss the “bad feelings”, but those “bad feelings” play a role in us moving on. How so? I am able to recognize that change is needed. Of course, I agree that we should not be led by our emotions, but our emotions can aid in shining the light on things we need to confront. Ever since I finished my last summer session, my emotions have been shining the light on “ME”. I started to ask myself questions like, “Do you want better?”, “Why don’t you celebrate what you have done?”, and “Do you feel supported or cared for?”, because I believe I was unconsciously living according to past disappointments that became “stuck in my heart”. (That’s something to ponder there.)

Confrontation allows us to see a circumstance, a situation, or a problem for what it is. Like I always state, I try to be as vulnerable and authentic as possible on this blog, because that’s the only way to experience real freedom by being truthful. One of the disappointments I felt at different times in my life is the disappointment of being let down by people. Of course, you can say that being let down is a part of life, which I can somewhat agree with, but it becomes detrimental when its coming from the people that surround you. From my experience, I have found it hard to bounce back from a relationship/friendship that let you down, a family member that let you down, and a community (church or school) that let you down. I am the type of person that tends to put my heart into everything, and when I reap little to nothing after the effort I put into things, I tend to draw back. This has been a part of my life that I have put on the backburner, because I thought at the time it will be better to ignore what happened.

Ignoring things can make you cold-hearted. You can easily find yourself acting the same way some people have treated you in the past. Now, I am praying for real friends, real community, and a real, loving relationship, (hey singleness is not forever lol), because I realize that my disappointments have kept me from starting over. Things can change. Things can get better. Things can be different. Facing the disappointment of being let down allows me to recognize that “I needed the right people in my life” and it also prompt me to change the way I see people in general. If I look at everyone as “the problem”, then I will not recognize the ones that are “the solution”. I also have to recognize that people have flaws just like me, so disappointments are expected. It’s better to face the things that have happened in your life in order to find the strength to move on. Be truthful about what you need to see and be open to the solution(s) on how to overcome it. Hurt can reveal needs. We all need to live free from the past.

It’s a late-night post that I have been working on in pieces since 5pm, but I finally got it out there. I feel this season in my life is turning more into a time of personal growth so I can handle the things that are coming to me next. Hey, feel free to comment and share your thoughts…I will still be up for a while LOL..(Time for a homework session)….Until next time peeps!