These days people are searching for an “identity”. The longing to identify with a certain group, organization, or way of thinking has hijacked our society in a way that prompted others to attach themselves to unhealthy ways of living. We think it is okay to just stay “the victim”. We think it is fine repeating over and over again about how they hurt us or they said this or that without any plans to move past the pain. I am not here to judge the depth of pain that people have suffered within their lifetime, but I am here to ask this one question: “Who are you outside of the hurt?” It seems like we describe ourselves according to our pain.
I was abandoned by this man and have no help.
I am just a lonely person and have no friends.
I am the ‘black sheep’ of the family.
Yes, abandonment, neglect, bullying, and abuse are all REAL situations that take place, BUT they are not my identity. As a person who have dealt with years of rejection not only from people but myself as well, I understand how you can only see yourself through the lens of your pain. The narrative I told myself for years is that “You are a nobody”. So, I will say things like “I am not a people person”, “I am shy”, or “I cannot learn complicated things” because I was putting myself down the same way I felt put down by others. Later, it was revealed to me that the issue I was dealing with was an “inner problem” because I had to move from a “rejected mindset” to a “whole and redeemed mindset”. Although I experienced real pain in my life, I also gave out that real pain to others as well. The truth is that when you have been rejected, you tend to reject.
You reject real healing. You reject real love. You reject real community. You reject real possibilities of growth and redemption. Within my own life, I rejected God, because I felt that He was going to reject me the same way I have been rejected by people. Eventually, I had to realize that I was believing the lies rather than God’s truth about me. There is more to me than what I have experienced in the Past. There is life on the other side of Pain. There is life after the Hurt. There is life beyond the Mistakes. We do not have to live in the pain of what happened, but we can move forward from it. We have a life to live….
As always feel free to add your thoughts to the conversation…….let’s walk this journey together…
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