Fear/Break Loose/

This title is a legit question. Have anyone ever won the “blame game”? You know that game that most of us had partake in because pain was not something we were willing to carry. We did not want the responsibility of healing but rather allow someone else to take on that burden. This is not to diminish the pain that came with the offense, but learning to make the decision to not allow the pain to control your life. To be even more honest, getting the words “I’m sorry” or receiving an expensive gift from them will not take away the pain, especially when there is no change in them. “Blame” seems to be a get-out-of-jail card to be free from whatever is hurting us but that is deceptive. What can blame do? There is no action taken. No forward movement. No reconciliation. No healing. So what is the purpose of it? Some people may not ever recognize what they did wrong to you and that’s okay. I understand about wanting a person to feel what you feel and empathized with you, but at the same time, I understand that you cannot make people feel a certain way about you. I have to decide that I want to make progress in my life and that starts with accepting Responsibility & Accountability.

Be RESPONSIBLE for your response to the things that happen to you and around you. I cannot control what someone else does but I CAN CONTROL ME. This is a growing pain for me because I felt that people were getting away scot-free. In all fairness, I do not know what these people went through or all that have happened to them. In my mind, I still felt that they were wrong and used them as the reasons why I cannot move on. On the other hand, I also felt like I was the target of someone else’s blame and got myself wrapped up in the game of “people pleasing” so they can approve me. Neither of those instances were solid excuses for my stagnation in my healing. No one can put a gun to my head and force me to stay stuck. Nor can anyone make me accept the responsibility of making them feel good, because I have the power to choose. How I respond determines how I move on and that does not mean to excuse the wrong behavior but go in a different direction away from it. That simply means changing who I am so I will not become what they did. Someone can betray you and you can become a victim to that betrayal instead of becoming healed from it. Change from being victimized to victorious. Being a victim does not require responsibility but being a victor do, meaning taking the necessary steps to heal, forgive, and move on.

Be ACCOUNTABLE for the choices you make. Here is another growing pain for me. I must recognize that I can make the decisions on who I decide to connect to. Forgiveness has wisdom to it. Forgiveness teaches me to guard my heart from bitterness and resentment so I will not close my heart up and shut out the people I do need in my life. It also teaches me the importance of boundaries so I will not allow anything to enter my heart. I struggled with letting people go because I worried about their hurt feelings more than my broken heart. When I realized that my future was worth more than holding on to my past, I decided to leave them behind. I can make the choice to not allow toxicity into my life. I can make the choice to not become toxicity to someone else. I can make the choice to strive to make better decisions that will prosper me in life. I can make the choice on what type of friends I have, what career I work in, where I want to stay, who I date, what I eat, etc., and will be making even more choices until I leave this Earth. I have to be accountable for how I live my life so I will not give in to the “blame game”. Even when it comes to mistakes that I have made and wrong things that I have done to others, I do not have to blame myself because I still have the power to make the right decisions. Again, it does not excuse the wrong, and that’s when accountability steps in and corrects me. I recognize the bad behavior/habits and make the adjustments.

There is no winner in the blame game. No one will win, but everyone will lose. Someone will lose their peace trying to blame someone else, and someone will lose their joy trying to take on the blame from someone else. You are responsible for your own life.

Have a nice day wonderful peeps! As always feel free to comment!